


Dance Shoes

by FlamingRedBird



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, Trans Michael, agender rich, dancer rich, it started as a character study for rich
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 19:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11042481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamingRedBird/pseuds/FlamingRedBird
Summary: When Rich was six years old and still known as Rachel, his mother signed him up for dance classes at a nearby dance studio. His mother insisted that any proper girl should know how to dance as it helped with posture (seeing as Rich always had his feet turned in slightly pigeon-toed) and dance helped a girl seem more “beautiful”.Rich always saw it as a sport, he spent up to four hours at the dance studio every weekday after school, he tried out for the competition teams, he took all available summer intensive classes.(It started as a Rich character study but then it kind of morphed into it's own thing just trust me on this)





	Dance Shoes

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr: http://irlrichgoranski.tumblr.com/

When Rich was six years old and still known as Rachel, his mother signed him up for dance classes at a nearby dance studio. His mother insisted that any proper girl should know how to dance as it helped with posture (seeing as Rich always had his feet turned in slightly pigeon-toed) and dance helped a girl seem more “beautiful”. 

Rich always saw it as a sport, he spent up to four hours at the dance studio every weekday after school, he tried out for the competition teams, he took all available summer intensive classes.

By the time he hit seventh grade his mom passed away, leaving his father to turn to alcohol as a coping mechanism. Rich didn’t know what to do, so he turned to dance even more. He wanted to live out his mother’s wish, for him to become a beautiful young woman through dance.

That dream was short lived.

Freshman year of high school was about to start and Rich started to realize that he wasn’t a beautiful girl like his mother saw. He didn’t see himself as anything. He would look in the mirror and the thought “I’m not a girl, but I’m not a boy either.” would always surface.

So to answer his question of “what am I?” he checked the internet. His question was soon answered, he was agender. The pronouns he settled for were They/Them and He/Him, those felt more fitting than all his teachers calling him “little girl”. 

His next thought was to tell his dance teachers. They had always been supportive of him when he went with the teams to competitions and they helped him out when his mother had passed away. 

After explaining to them that he saw himself without a gender, they were all supportive. His ballet teacher began to buy him men’s dance outfits, his jazz teacher would choreograph him into routines as a boy, and his contemporary teacher showed him a new way to dance just as gracefully as a girl but with the power of a man. His whole studio threw a small coming out party for him, they welcomed their new student.

Rachel was soon forgotten, but was replaced with Rich.

Rich was happy that his studio, his team, his friends, all accepted him. School however, was different. All the teachers would only refer to him as Rachel, and if he asked them to call him Rich he was sent to the office to explain to his father.

His father wasn’t very supportive either, his father wanted his “little girl” back. His father wanted his mother’s “beautiful dancer” back. Beautiful soon became a word Rich couldn’t stand. It was a constant reminder of what he no longer was, and his father would use it non-stop.

Rich would spend as much time as he could hiding at his dance studio, spending time before and after class working on homework and talking with his friends. As a birthday gift he was given a proper binder, his ballet teacher knew that the ace bandage he carried around wasn’t for sprained ankles. He was thankful for the gift.

Sophomore year was when someone pushed him up against a locker, called him a loser and a fagot, but told him that if he wanted to be seen as agender, he had to become cool. The bully told him about a pill that was actually a super computer. He told him that if he went to Payless with 400$ he could get it.

Rich began to set aside some of his dance fundraising money to get a Squip, if it would make people see him how he wanted to be seen, then he was willing to cut into his dance a little bit. Sacrifices had to be made.

Getting the Squip was painful; everything about it from the moment it entered his brain was nothing but pain.

The first thing his Squip said to him was that he needed to drop dance because dance was for “girls and gay guys” and if Rich was questioning his sexuality before, the Squip made sure he was definitely straight with “controlled shocks” and choice words.

The rest of the year went by quickly, Rich could really only remember bits and pieces; fragments of memories from the year. Junior started simply and about a month into school he found himself shoving Jeremy Heere into a bathroom wall and telling him why he should buy a Squip. 

The Halloween party was the next memory Rich could recall, mostly because his Squip spent the night deactivated and the sheer terror Rich went through as he torched his best friend’s house was enough to leave a lasting memory. 

The next month in the hospital was hell as his Squip would try and tell him about all they ways he had fucked up, how everyone was spreading rumors about how “Rachel set a fire because she’s not right in the head!”. Rich spent that month crying while he couldn’t move in his full body cast.

One day he woke up and the voice of his Squip was gone; there was just a massive headache left behind. Rich felt relieved, but somewhat empty. He had the Squip for so long that it felt like a piece of himself was gone, a piece that may have been more harmful than good, but a piece of himself no less.

He had looked over to see Jeremy Heere in the hospital bed beside him with Michael mell (Rich’s old weed dealer how ironic) sleeping with his head on the edge of the bed while he held Jeremy’s hand. “I wonder if Michael asked him out yet?” Rich had wondered. He remembered that while he was Squipped he would go to Michael for weed and the two would get high together, which ended up with Michael spilling his feelings about Jeremy. 

It took a week for Jeremy to wake up, and even then he would only stay awake long enough for a nurse to ask him how he felt. Michael would sometimes sit by Rich and they’d just talk. Turns out Michael knew that Rich was agender, and Rich found out Michael was trans. The two talked quite a bit, getting to know each other for real.

The first time Jeremy actually woke up, Rich jumped at the chance to talk to him. Rich had asked mostly out of curiosity if Jeremy and Michael were dating to which Jeremy turned bright red and Michael walked into the room and shut the curtain on Rich. 

Rich smiled, he deserved that. 

Jeremy explained what happened at the play, and Michael filled in the missing details.

Jeremy was soon released from the hospital and Michael came to visit Rich every now and then, he said that Chloe, Brooke, Jenna, and Jake were planning on visiting sometime soon.

Sometime soon never really came.

Rich was released from the hospital just in time for winter break. Which he spent all of it working on all the school work he missed. His physical therapist told him it would be a good idea if he took up some kind of simple sport where he could slowly begin to exercise his body again. 

Rich decided he wanted to go back to dancing. His whole studio welcomed him back, and suddenly he found that Michael and Jeremy were coming to all of his competitions and recitals. It was nice that he had actual friends that supported him.

The end of junior year came faster than everyone expected, and Rich was stopped after school by someone he hadn’t talked to since the Halloween incident. Jake Dillinger.

Jake apologized for just leaving him, and all Rich was able to manage was a small sob as he embraced his best friend. Jake apologized for being worried that Rich wouldn’t want to be his friend without the Squip, and Rich apologized for being worried that Jake hated him for burning down his house.

The two spent the summer fixing their friendship. Their summer was also spent with Chloe, Brooke, Jenna, Michael, Jeremy, and Christine. The group had grown close due to the Squip incident and spent the summer getting to know each other better.

Jeremy and Christine were a couple, Chloe and Brooke were a couple; which left Jake, Rich, Michael, and Jenna all to gossip over who would be great with whom.

Senior year hit and Rich had a plan, he wanted to ask out a guy he had kind of been crushing on since the Squip incident, and he was pretty sure it would end in rejection. That didn’t stop Jenna from literally pushing him to wait by the guy’s locker before school.

Without his Squip Rich was a lot more anxious, he had a lot more self doubt, and he definitely had a lot more issues he didn’t want to dwell on. He pulled out his phone and texted the guy he was waiting for.

 

Bi+Rich: bro where r u at? u better be coming to school today or im gonna ditch as well.

 

After he sent the message he waited a few more minutes. What if he didn’t show up today? What if word had somehow gotten out that Rich was going to ask him out? Rich could feel the anxiety building up within him. His phone vibrated in his pocket, it was a message from Jenna.

 

RollinInTheDeep: Hey you need to switch to plan B. I just heard from Chloe that Alpha Red isn’t coming today because he’s sick.

Bi+Rich: ugh jenna drop the codenames i cant remember who's who anymore. Also i cant believe im gonna ditch school for this…

RollinInTheDeep: Nah, codenames are too much fun! But yeah looks like your options are 1) go ditch school to take care of him like the good friend you are or 2) Die alone with all of your guinea pigs.

Bi+Rich: i like option 2

RollinInTheDeep: I will force you to go take care of that boy crush of yours.

Bi+Rich: ok ok im leaving the school now to go buy some meds and stuff to take care of him. jeez

 

Rich sighed, Jenna was never going to leave him alone if he didn’t follow through. He quickly left the school building and found his dad’s beat up pickup truck. After a quick stop at a nearby CVS, he had supplies for taking care of a basic cold and he purchased a DvD of The Princess Bride. He was soon on his way to his crush’s house.

Jenna was continuously sending him motivational texts, and he even got a few from Chloe, Brooke, and one from Jeremy (although it looked suspiciously like Christine’s typing style).

He made it to his destination and quickly sent a text to the “Save Rich’s Bi Ass” group chat. He walked up to the front door of the house and rang the doorbell. He didn’t want to use his spare key and possibly startle the sick boy.

He waited for a few minutes before ringing the doorbell again. If he had to use his spare key he would, but he really didn’t want to scare his crush by making him think he was a burglar or intruder of some kind.

After another few minutes the door finally cracked open slightly.

“Rich? You shouldn’t be here. I’m sick and there’s school today…”

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to go and project all over poor Rich. Oh well, agender Rich and dancer Rich are headcanons you guys will have to pry from my cold, dead hands. Someone save this boy from the world.
> 
> Also I want to actually make a group chat for "Save Rich's Bi Ass"


End file.
